I could go on about anxiety and emotions and how they affect you and those around you but the truth is, I'm not in the mood. The only thing I want to do right now is sleep. Which is actually better than what I wanted to do only a couple of hours ago. And that is what I want to talk about. I need to get it out because I'm afraid to keep it in. Unfortunately, there is no one I can talk to about it so I hope I can find some relief here on Eye C U....

I have been having very strong negative thoughts lately. They have started to affect my family. I am not able to perform at my best because I am distracted by these fears and anxieties. I thought talking about these feelings would help but that did more harm than good. After this failed attempt of relief, as I sat on the floor sobbing, I new thought entered my mind, one that I'd never had before and never understood when other people expressed this feeling. All of a sudden, I wished the pen in my hand was a knife, and I wanted to hurt myself. Almost simultaneously, however, I knew I didn't want to hurt myself. What I really wanted was to kill the thoughts and feelings that were wreaking so much havoc in my, what should be wonderful, life.

But I will do no harm, to myself or others. I will overcome this and I have faith that the Eye C U Community will be the ear I need when no one else will listen...

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Comment by The Missus on February 22, 2014 at 4:42pm
Thanks....power up

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