On this Father's Day morning, I found myself sitting at pond in Little Germany(Luray,Va) fishing, and feeling a certain way. I found myself a little upset because my mother was not there. I blamed my father for her absence, and I found myself blaming my father for a lot of other stuff. Then a epiphany hit me. I am the next step in evolution of my father, and its my job, to be better than he. Its not for me to sit around and be mad or in my feelings, its my job, to know better, and then do better.
I remember listening to stories my father told me growing up, and him sharing the hardships of being married to my mother. He also showed me with his actions the sacrifices and the mistakes that husband and fathers have to make. He showed me these things. My father never had a father. If we look at the fact my father didn't have a father, and he made the decision to fulfill those shoes with his time came, shows evolution. My father had one child, and I have 3, and I make it a point to make sure they have a close relationship with their "Papa".
After feeling a certain type and thinking about it while I was fishing, I decided to walk down to the river, where my wife and kids were playing, and joined in. I did the things that my dad didn't do, for the reason that I knew that I needed them. I needed the experience. As a kid I needed my dad to understand the concept of doing things to have the experience for me to have. To look around and think about what he was exposing me to, and be mindful of teaching me functional knowledge. Going to the point of learning something new just so he could teach it to me. I now strive apply these methods into my parenting style.
At no point did I feel hate towards my father, I love my dad very much. I just don't always like how he chooses to lead this family but he is the father and I am the son, and so I respect him. What he says goes, but in the same time, I am just playing my role until my number gets called. The point of this post is...I was feeling a certain way, and I thought about blaming someone else. I thought about it and realized it was me that was making myself feel this way, by looking at the situation wrong. So I changed my perception, and realized it was up to me to do something about my situation and I did. Shortly there after, I felt better. Everytime the thought crept in my head, I did my Super Daddy thing and then I felt better. Its up to me to make me feel better. Power Up, Eye C U....